And He Lost His Cherry
by Zuzanny
Summary: Princess Allura and Larmina overhear Hunk giving Pidge a "special lesson" in the kitchen. Can be read on it's own, or as a companion to Hacked.


21 September 2012 – 06 October 2012

Voltron Force and all it's characters do not belong to me. I make no profit from this. I am just playing with the characters for a bit.

Author's note: This little bunny wanted to be written. I am so easily amused!

And He Lost His Cherry

by Zuzanny

lionette AT mailcity DOT com

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Larmina walked with her Aunt through the halls of the castle. "Just think it's really weird." She said. "Pidge and Hunk spend so much time together. I'm sure they are, you know... together."

"I don't know," Princesss Allura said slowly, "but even if they are, it's not really our business. It's not like they are flaunting it, or performing indecent acting in public areas." but then they passed the kitchen and some voices from inside made both women pause.

P: "Mmm... that's good... Now what should I do with the nuts?"

H: "Well, some people like to suck them while salted, some like to put them in these vice things and crush them, others like to dip them in chocolate. That's real good, actually. But personally I don't even put them in my mouth. Instead, I dip them in oil and roll them around in my hands.

P: "Yeah?"

H: "Yeah. You'd be surprised how relaxing it is. Here, I'll show you.'

P: "Oh... You're right. That DOES feel good."

"Are they talking about what I THINK they're talking about?" Larmina whispered to her aunt. Allura gave her a wide eyed and red-faced shrug, and they both crowded closer to the closed door to listen further.

H: "For this, technique is everything. You need smooth wrist motions, not just sawing away at it, or it ends up at an angle and can actually snap before you even get it to your mouth."

"It can SNAP?" Larmina gasped. Allura shushed her.

P:"How long did it take for you to get it right?"

H:"Well... I dunno. You gotta remember I've been doing this type of thing since I was a kid. My dad taught me real well. Here, have a go."

Again Larmina and Allura exchanged looks, this time tinged with horror.

P: "Like this?"

H: "Yeah, that's actually pretty good. Start off nice and slow. When you're more familiar with your tools you'll be able to do it as fast as you want. Keep your wrist straight! Slowly, back and forth, back and forth. Good."

P: "It's so long. My arm's going to get sore if I keep this up."

H: "With practice your muscles will get used to it. Now give this a squeeze along here."

P: "...I can't... It's not working."

H: "Give it a good, hard shake. That's good. Now squeeze it harder, right there, oh yeah, just like that. That's real good."

P: "AH! Is it supposed to splert like that? I got it all over my hands."

H: "Licking it off your fingers is part of the fun."

P: "...Mmm...It's so smooth and creamy."

H: "Well there's more where that came from. Here, give this a lick."

P: "...Salty."

H: "Just wait for the after taste... You can spit it out if you don't want to swallow it."

Allura covered her mouth and nose with her hands to stop the snort that wanted to escape.

P: "Oh. My. God! That is so hot!"

H: "Yeah, you like that don't you."

P: "Mmmm! Gimme more!"

H: "THAT's what I call salami."

P: "I thought it was bratworst!"

Larmina was the one struggling not to choke now.

H: "I prefer it shaved. If it's too thick I am forever picking it out of my teeth.

P: "I didn't know it COULD be shaved."

H: "Oh, you poor, poor child."

P: "HEY!"

H: (snickers) "Now. Sometimes I like it cut, sometimes just as it is. Especially if it's over a foot long. Usually I can take on two or three at a time. Just depends on my mood.

P: "How on EARTH do you fit it all in?"

Both women were turning red from holding their breath.

H: (more snickering) We're NOT on Earth. And Practice.

P: "I don't think I could ever do more than one at a time.

H: "Yeah, well... You are such a skinny little thing. Foot long would probably bust a gut and end up coming out your ears. I've had so much practice at this that I no longer even have a gag reflex. Let me show you."

P: "I believe you! I believe you! Oh my God! … Do it again!"

H: "Try this first."

P: "...Mmm... mmph... (other moans and muffled noises of pleasure). Soooo gooood..."

H: "Yeah, I know. Want some more?"

P: "Oh God, YES! (More moans and muffled noises of pleasure).

H: "I'm so glad you are enjoying this so much. Ready for desert?"

P: "Desert?!"

H: "Of course. Here."

P: "Where did you get this?"

H: "In the pantry. There are whole jars of it in there. And take this."

P: "Okay."

H: "Good. Now smear that on real thick. Pay close attention around the base. Good. The fudge has to be packed in nice and deep. Now take that and shake it real hard for a few seconds, then swirl it around the top. Oh yeah, just like that."

P: "I think I shook it too long."

H: "Give it a lick and see."

P: "Are you sure it's okay if I do that? I mean it is yours, right?"

H: "I don't mind if it's you licking it. You could suck it dry if you wanted. Just don't tell Keith. He can't seem to get enough of it."

P: "No problem there. No offence to him, but I think I would rather yours over his anyway."

Allura suddenly felt rather faint.

P: "Speaking about Keith, do you think we should invite the others?"

H: "I did see Keith on our way here. I know he'd want some of this."

P: "I don't know... I kind of like it just being the two of us."

H: "The more the merrier, I always say. Take a good bite of that. Don't be afraid to really sink your teeth into it."

P: "Mmmmmph..."

H: "Now... this goes in... here."

P: "It's too big. It's not going to fit."

H: "Just give me a sec. Don't close your eyes, watch me work my magic." (Sound of scraping and shifting.) "Got to do it quick while it's still hard."

P: "Ow!"

H: "Sorry about that. Did that hurt you? ...Oh, you've lost your cherry."

P: "I know. I'm okay. Just got to suck it for a bit."

H: "Are you bleeding?"

P: "I said I'm okay. Keep going."

H: (More shifting and scraping noises. H grunting in effort.). "Got it!"

P: "Wow, you really did get it in there!"

H: "I AM an expert!"

P: "Mmmm... mmmm! This really is so good!

The sound of Keith's cheerful whistling as he approached made both Allura and Larmina stand up straight and try to pretend they were not doing anything they should feel remotely guilty about. Keith's face lit up when he saw the women, and he waved at them, stopping to stand with them.

"Hey Princess, Larmina. Hunk's giving Pidge a special lesson. You ladies going to come?"

With a very strained voice Allura answered, "Probably. Just give me a minute."

Keith grinned at her. "Great!" and walks into the kitchen, letting the door flap shut after him. "Hey guys, you started without me!"

Hunk called out "Well get your arse over here!"

Larmina decided to risk a peek in the kitchen while Allura was turned towards the wall and breathing loudly like she had just run a long way. Larmina saw Pidge devouring his way through a subway sandwich with an expression of absolute ecstasy on his face. She noticed he also had a bandaid around one of his fingers. There were more sandwiches of a similar nature spread out on platters on the table, some of them filled with so much stuff that she had no idea how it was physically possible to eat them. The makings for ice cream sundaes were still on the bench, and when Keith opened the freezer door to check it out, she saw the deserts in question filling most of the space as tall sundae glasses were packed with chocolate and fudge and ice cream, topped with whipped cream, crushed nuts and a cherry. She had no idea where the rest of the usual freezer goods had been shifted to. Keith closed the freezer, and eyed the left over makings on the bench a smile.

"Are there any more cans of whipped cream left?"

The end.


End file.
